Friday, January 31, 2014

A Trip to Indiana

As soon as I heard about Kate's mom, I called Travis and told him, "I need to go." Travis didn't disagree, he just wished I could drive his car, but since it was a stick I knew I wasn't even going to risk it. Being a mom worried about the horrible weather conditions and knowing her daughter would be driving an older car, "Are you sure?" "Yes mom, she's my best friend." 

Kate has had a lot that has happened in her life for the past two years, including now, losing both parents. She has one sister that she is very close to, but I don't believe she is as close with her other family, including a half sister.

I loaded up Big Red, with 3 dogs and 2 cats (yes, we added a friend's dog) and took off on Friday morning, hoping to get there before dark. And no, I didn't know about the day before happening of where a major accident occurred only a couple hours away. I did not know about this accident, but as soon as I approached closer to Indiana, my car took the beating of strong winds, drifting snow, and ice on the road, while the city decided to close down some of the main roads due to unfavorable driving conditions.

I made it there, because I wanted to be there for Kate. She is like a sister to me, and I can't imagine what she's going through. Kate is such an inspiration to me, and after getting to know her sister Emily, I really wished I would have known their mom more. If she could raise such amazing girls, than she had to be such an incredible woman. After being with Kate, and her one sister, there is no doubt how much they had for their mother. One thing that they spoke so highly of her what what she had a big heart for God. 

In her final days on Earth, Kar, mediated daily on Jeremiah 9:23-24, which states:

This is what the Lord says: Let not the wise boat of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts, boast about this: that they have the understanding to know Me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on Earth, for in these I delight," declares the Lord. (NIV)

She then would read a quote from Charles Swindoll...

"Lord, use these quiet moments to enhance my knowledge of you. Take first place in my heart. Reveal yourself to me."

I did find a beautiful poem for anyone who may be missing someone in heaven:

Crossing Over
Oh, lease don't feel guilty
It was just my time to go.
I see you are still feeling sad,
And the tears just seem to flow.
We all come to earth for our lifetime,
And for some it's not many years
I don't want you to keep crying
You are shedding so many tears.
I haven't really left you
Even though it may seem so.
I have just gone to my heavenly home,
And I'm closer to you than you know.
Just believe that when you say
my name, I'm standing next to you.
I know you long to see me,
But there's nothing I can do.
But I will still send you messages
And hope you understand,
that when your time comes to
"cross over," I'll be there
to take your hand.
-Author Unknown

Kate's mom didn't really have anything planned with her funeral. She wasn't even able to tell them her last wishes. She was able to tell her daughters that she loved them before she passed - and although she told them that all the time, it's something they needed to hear one last time.

Please send prayers for Kate, and her family to her to feel at peace. To know God's love. To feel their mother near. To remember the good memories.


I was glad I was able to be there for Kate during this time, even though I wasn't able to help her out as much as I would have liked. The weather was awful. AWFUL, I tell ya. 

A picture of the snow the next morning after arriving the night before (the drive way was clear when I arrived). Thankfully, the first day there a neighbor helped snow blow, but, for the rest of the week, it was just Trav's brother, Trey and I, shoveling. It wasn't my idea of fun before I had to leave every day.

I have never seen an Indiana winter like this. While I was there, snow piled up, and for the last two days while I was there, they put a State of Emergency up for anyone who would be driving would get a $2,500 fine. Although, later, I found out that people only got warnings and the only people that received a ticket, were the ones who was trying to steal some scrap metal. (Serves them right).

The boys (and Cali) enjoyed the weather at first. They loved hopping in the snow like rabbits, but when the Polar Vertix arrived, they would go outside to go potty and come back inside holding their paws. I felt so bad. I was planning on watching Cali that week before everything happened, so I offered to take her with so that way it wouldn't cause her family in trouble.

Isn't that face so sweet?

Thankfully the ban was lifted a little early. I was able to drive over to help Kate with moving some of her mom's stuff. However, while trying to get some boxes from the back of my car, I pulled a little too hard on the handle apparently, and the handle fell off. Poor Red.

Also, I was glad to be able to see my grandma. She fell and broke her home. She is now in a nursing home, and being home from last month, she looks so much worse. She is a puny 93 pounds and looks like a skeleton. 

During Christmas, we knew she had dementina,however, she was still looking okay. She fought with my parents and Trav and I when we arrived to her retirement home claiming that it wasn't Christmas. We had to show her our phone with the date and the newspaper. After getting her ready, she stepped out of her room telling everyone, "Merry Christmas! I'm going to a party!" (While she headed the wrong way to the door). And while at my aunt's house, we got her some food, watched her eat it, and about an hour or two afterwards, she started getting uncomfortable saying, "Are we ever going to eat around here?" She is just so cute.

This time it was different though, not only with all of her weight loss, she didn't even remember me, or barley even spoke. They think she has a thing believed to call Sundown Syndrome. She also could like the way she is because of all the medication she's on. She broke our heart when she said she didn't want us to leave and started tearing up. I am hoping that when we go up there again for Brittany's graduation, that she may be improving, but I'm not really sure.

One good thing about being gone, is that by coming home, many people texted/called to make sure I got home safe - and I felt so loved. One thing I rewarded Big Red with was a nice car wash and cleaned his interior (probably the best he has looked for a while). Don't worry, the animals got some treats too for being so good in the car ride. They slept the whole way home and when we got home, they happily fell asleep on the couch right away, while I frantically cleaned the house, did laundry, unpacked and etc. (I really don't know how I was in the mood to do all of that with driving 9 hours home).

With all the happenings of this past week, I didn't eat healthy OR did I exercise. I should have and feel guilty for not doing so, however, when I looked in the mirror, even though I'm not where I would like to be at this point, but I can see improvement. I will hopefully take pictures this week or next. Today though I needed to take a step towards the right direction again. This morning I woke up at 6 AM to exercise with Insanity. I didn't work out as hard because I got tired but I am hoping to make a workout plan and an exercise plan for the next week, so I know exactly what I should follow every day.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Goodbyes Are Not Forever

There was a text message from my friend, Kate, this morning.

"My mom went to heaven this morning"

All I keep thinking is about my best friend. I can't even imagine what she is going through. Her mom was her everything. 

I wish there was more I could to do for her. My heart just breaks for her. This is the one of the hardest things she will have to ever face. I don't know what to say, but all I can do is just listen.

Kate's mom has been so strong and battling cancer since October 2012. She was a beautiful and faithful woman. She has wonderful girls who, like her, would do anything for anybody.

I love you, Kate.

May God bring you peace at this time, knowing that he gained another angel today and that she is now cancer-free and pain free.

And now, Kate's mom, Kar, is looking down and smiling at her daughters in heaven and watching after them.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Meal Ideas for Eating Healthy

Idea #1:
1 Cup of Special K Cereal
Soy/Skim Milk (I would say Almond Milk would be good too)
1 Serving of Fruit

Protein Drink

Turkey Lunch Meat
Low Fat Cheese
Whole What/Grain Bread
Honey Mustard
Dill Pickle & Tomato
Baked Chips (13 chips)

Handful of Almonds
String Cheese

Grilled Chicken Breast
Green Beans
1/2 Cup of Wild Rice

1 cup of Yogurt
1 serving of Fruit

Idea #2:
1/2 cup of oatmeal
1 serving of fruit
1 cup of orange juice

Protein Bar

Grilled Chicken
Low Carb Tortilla
Salsa & Fresh Spinach
Baked Pita Chips (13 chips)

Protein Drink

Turkey Burger
Low Fat Cheese
Veggie of Your Choice

1 rice cake
2 TBS of Peanut Butter

Idea #3:
1 slice of Whole Grain Toast
Turkey Bacon/Sausage
Egg Whites
1 Cup of Soy/Skim Milk (Almond Milk would probably be fine here too)

Handful of Almonds

Subway Salad or Wrap
Low Fat Cheese
Low Fat Dressing
Apple Slices

Sugar Free Jell-O
Sugar Free Whip Cream

Grilled/Baked Fish
Veggie of your choice
1/2 cup wild rice

Protein Bar/Drink


Speaking to a nutritionist, she should I should stick with a 1200 calorie diet. Currently, I am a 1470 calorie diet, but if I stick with that number, I won't lose anything, but if I eat less than 1200, it will slow my metabolism.

Also, should be drinking 64 oz of water a day - she recommended that I have water with every meal and that I should be getting 30 mins of exercise a day. Snacks should only be 100 calories. She also wanted me to eat lots of protein but not many carbs.

Also, she broke down how much you burn:

Usually during breakfast, it is the most important meal, you should have some sort of protein, and you will burn about 90-100% of that meal during the day.
During Lunch, you burn about 50-75%
During Dinner you should burn only around 10%-20%, that is why it is important to watch what you eat for dinner.

I haven't really followed the idea suggestions, just thought I should share them because they don't seem all that bad. Instead, I've been eating yogurt in the morning, a banana for a snack, and fish for dinner or lunch. Also, I have been loving the TBS of Peanut Butter.

Monday, January 20, 2014

A Lifestyle Change

A while ago, Travis got bloodwork done, showing that his cholesterol and some other numbers were extremely high. This scared him to death. He knew he needed to do something, so he started eating healthy, working out, and started taking Phentermine in hope to get his levels closer to normal.

I was a bad wife you guys, and I didn't really help his situation. I figured he could eat better, but that didn't mean I had to. I continued to make batches of cookies and eat everything I wanted to eat.

Eating like that won't do anything good for you. Finally, Travis sat me down and basically told me that I needed to support his eating habits and healthy lifestyle, if, I wanted him to live longer.

So I surrendered. After we got home from visiting family for Christmas, I tried so hard not to go to the grocery store to get the things I would normally eat. I began to eat healthy, especially after seeing a huge difference it Travis after his lifestyle changed.

After a couple of weeks, and feeling pretty good, of not having cravings, and not having junk food, that many carbs, and etc. I got on the scale at the doctors office on January 9th. I almost died as I saw the scale read 150 Ibs. 

What had happen? I was finally feeling better about myself. 150? Before our wedding, I weighed probably around 130. 

150, you gotta go.

I stil wasn't exercising, but I begged Travis to see if I could get on the Phentermine but he wouldn't let me unless I was dedicated to making a lifestyle change with him. That means not only taking a pill, but eating healthy, and working out, because he doesn't want to lose me early either.

I was able to finally go to the doctor to get Phentermine. I got on the scale and it read 147 Ibs, which was still not a lot of progress from a couple of weeks ago.

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in over a year. I'm so out of shape, that I could only do some of the machines, combined, for a total of 30 minutes.

I had Travis take my photo to show the "before". It was after I got home from working out and before I showered. Sorry for the awful mess looking of myself.

Anyways, I am not planing on taking Phentermine for a long period, just to the point of my goal weight. I am not also taking Phentermine just to lose weight, but also to help me re-gain my knowledge of portion control. I am not going to lie, I like to eat, and eat a lot.

I haven't had made a batch of cookies or ate a batch of cookies in a month now. Maybe that doesn't impress you, but for me, that makes me so happy.

In case you want to know what Phentermine is, it is a prescription diet aide. It is supposed to help you surpress your appetite, to make you feel full. There is many side effects that could occur, so it is not made for everyone. I am starting with half a pill a day, and can already tell, that I have trouble sleeping, even if I take it first thing in the morning. Also, since taking this, I have constant dry mouth. Thankfully, they want you to drink a lot of water, which I am having no problem doing this.

I am planning on keeping this lifestyle change, and hope that you can cheer me on during my progress. I really don't want to get discouraged.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

A Heartache

I woke up to find out that there was a shooting close to my hometown. Something that you never would think that would happen so close, and it does.

From what I've read, a guy went into a grocery store and after about a half hour of being there, he started shooting. He killed a girl who was stocking shelves, and shot and killed another woman in the store. He then had the manager on his knees pointing the gun to his head. The police came into the store, scared him away, and found him in the middle of the store. The police shot and killed him, and they saw that not only did he have a gun, but, he had a hunting knife on him as well.

It hit so close to home. Can't even imagine what their families are going through. Can you imagine your best friend, daughter, or etc. going into work, and that would be the last time you would see them? Or having your wife, daughter, mother, go to the store to get groceries, not knowing you will ever see them?

I don't know what this world is coming to. It saddens me so much, just like every tragedy does, but this one makes my heart ache. Maybe because it's so close to home, or maybe because I feel as I get older, I can understand more what is going on.

Just wish that the world was a better place, and just remember to say to your loved ones that you love them every chance you get.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

An Improvement

Small things can make BIG differences.

I've been trying to change my routine and that is not easy.

Eating healthy is not the most fun thing I have ever encountered, BUT, I feel like I have a lot more energy. More energy means more time to do things around the house, to walk around the house, to make homemade cards, to volunteer.


But next week, I have to face the truth, and join the gym. I'm not excited about it, but I am going to. Next week. LOL. We will see how far this goes.

In other news:

We have repainted our bedroom and bath! We literally suck at picking paint colors. We wanted a light blue, that has a grey tint and the sample seemed to be just that. Next thing you know, we painted the room, and it is blue! Not exactly what I imagined, but I'm not planning on repainting this.

I tried making homemade cards. I wasn't exactly in love with doing it, as it seemed like it took forever, BUT, they seemed to turn out cute. I hope that whoever receives them likes them, if not, if not, I'm not sure if I'll do them again.

I've been reading the Bible right now. I started reading from Genesis, and I can't wait to get to Numbers. Where I am now, it is just so confusing with Moses. I guess not everything in the Bible is understandable.

Asking for Prayers:

-Please pray for our friends daughter, Adria. She was born with Spina Bifida, where they are taking for treatments. She got sick and was put back in the hospital because she was having high fevers and vomiting due to a shunt infection. She needed surgery to externalize the shut. They now have a long term line that gives her antibiotics. The neurosurgeon believes that she may not even need the shunt for much longer.

-Also, please pray for my friend Kate's mom, who was first diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. The cancer seemed to be in remission with chemo treatments, but her mom couldn't walk an because of the chemo treatments that it may have caused her to be paralyzed from the waist down.  They told Kate's sister the other day, that they think her mom has only months to live, after her mom went back to the hospital. Also they are needing to get a second opinion, please pray for strength for Kate's family and her mom.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Something Missing

Well it's 2014 and although everyone is excited for a new start, I am waiting for summer 2015 to be here.

Blogging is not my speciality, that is for sure.

There are several reasons why I stopped posting, but mostly because I don't have anything honestly worthy about writing about in my life right now.

*Trav is in school. He spends most of his time at clinicals and studying. So I don't have a lot to say about "newlywed life".
*I get on blogger and I honestly feel jealous of everyone, although I am truly happy for them. Everyone has awesome things going on in their life:

*babies, kids, etc.
*fun adventures
*decorating, cooking, etc. 

I know I should be doing more with my life, but I just feel stuck - and something just seems to be missing.

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