w/ baby Xavier 2007
... I hate that question because I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
Trav's logic for me:
"To be a mom"
So simple. It's crazy how this man knows me better than I know myself sometimes.
I smile every time I imagine what our little kids will look like (maybe his blue eyes, my curly hair?), but I still feel like something would be missing.
But then these questions have been on our mind:
"What about fostering?" (Trav brought this up)
I love fostering animals, but foster kids? It requires a person to be so strong because CPS goal is to reunite the child with their family. I honestly don't know if we're strong enough for that, but it is def. possible because although I'm scared of grieving the child having to be reunited, I am more afraid of what will happen if no one is willing to take the risk to love. I would love to welcome a child into our home to experience what a stable family environment will be like. I will be scared because it is different than fostering kids where we got to pick the family for our fur baby fosters, but I won't get to pick the family for a child. This is def. on our hearts though and we are praying to see if this is something God wants us to do.
"What about adoption?"
All of a sudden it hit me. Out streams tears. Why has it taken me so long to figure out what I want to do in life? I just don't want to be a mom of a child that grows inside me, but instead one that grows in someone else's belly. One that I get to love one day and take care of because for some reason their family is unable to.
As soon as Trav came home I told him. We talked about it and prayed about it. We will continue to pray about it until we are both certain that its something we both want to. Our plan is to start a family in 5 years - that way Trav graduates, we have some time to ourselves before we start a family and travel and do a mission trip or two along the way.
"I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person. So I keep stopping and loving one person at a time. Because this is my call as a Christian." - Katie Davis